The performance of high emotional intelligence is hidden in these details of life.

People with high emotional intelligence know how to speak well because language often has more power than behavior.

At this point, the golden sentence maker Wilde is deeply touched:

“There are many people who can do things, but there are very few people who can talk. It shows that speaking is the most difficult and the most important of the two.”

Being able to speak is very important, and it is a truth that I have understood since I was 4 years old.

At that time, an uncle came to my house to play, and casually asked me a question during the meal:

“Do you like daddy more or mum more?”

Everyone at the table turned their heads and looked at me with expectant eyes.

Not knowing how to answer, I was at a loss, threw down my chopsticks, and hid in the room to watch TV.

There are many such pits in life, and many people often feel headaches for interpersonal communication.

And there are always people who can use a good answer to make the atmosphere hot from the freezing point and use a decent sentence to make everyone feel extremely comfortable.

Wanting to become a person with high emotional intelligence can actually be very easy.

The performance of high emotional intelligence is hidden in these details of life.

high emotional intelligence EQ

1. People with high emotional intelligence do not deny the compliments of the other party

Parents: “Recently, I got good exam results.”

The general answer: “No, it’s okay.”

Textbook style: “No, look at whose son it is.”

Colleague: “The dress you are wearing today is so beautiful.”

The general answer: “No, it’s okay.”

Textbook style: “Really? Thank you, your earth color eyeshadow is also very good.”

Friend: “Your child is so sensible.”

The general answer: “No, it’s okay.”

Textbook style: “Really? Your kids are pretty good too. You can bring them to play with my kids when you have time.”

In the face of compliments from others, most people tend to be conditioned and humble.

This is actually true, but other people will not feel obvious feedback, and the topic that was finally brewing is over.

People with high emotional intelligence do not deny the compliment of the other party and are good at using empathy, using affirmative or rhetorical questioning sentences to take the other party’s words.

Then follow this topic, boast the other side, so that it is easy to open the conversation, and the two sides reach a satisfactory atmosphere.

Do not deny the other party’s praise, this is the first sign of a person’s high emotional intelligence.

2. People with high emotional intelligence will speak at the point of the other party

The wife who took a baby at home for a day, saw her husband walking home slowly, and said grimly:

“Hurry up and cook, I’m exhausted from serving the child today.”

The husband heard the fire:

“I have been working all day, and I am more tired than you.”

Wife wronged:

“The child has been in trouble for a day, and he doesn’t worry at all.”

The husband replied:

“I met a difficult customer today, and I was almost mad.”

After going back and forth, the couple was talking about their difficulties, and it was not until dark that they found out that they hadn’t made dinner.

Neither of them was wrong, but the neglected child started to cry…

Many conflicts stem from the subjective emotional expression of one party. Perhaps the original intention was just to let the other party know that “I am a little tired today, I need you”, but in the end, it turned into a catharsis, and the two became even more tired.

Now restore the scene once to see how the high emotional intelligence crowd solves the problem:

The husband went home and brought his baby’s wife for a day, and wanted her husband to help with cooking.

A wife with high emotional intelligence will say:

“Are you back? I bought your favorite beef, but I have limited cooking skills. The beef you make is more delicious. I will leave it to you for today’s dinner. It can be regarded as a reward for me who brought my baby for a day. “

Happy husband:

“Really? Just greedy this bite. Look at me today.”

Let others accept their own opinions, useless command tone, less emotional venting, more statement of facts instead of subjective judgments, stand on the other side’s interests, and turn what you want him to do to his own pleasure. want.

Manage your emotions well and don’t let them rush out and become a hurting beast.

Coercion never solves problems, it only accumulates problems.

Will speak at the point of interest of the other person, this is the second sign of a person’s high emotional intelligence.

high emotional intelligence EQ

3. People with high emotional intelligence can calm down in public

“Longing for Life” is a popular reality show in China. As usual, every star will help with farm work.

Once, Chen came as a guest, and Huang Lei asked him to pick corn. He said he was allergic to ultraviolet rays and asked him to chop wood. He said he had a bad waist.

From the outside, it seemed that Chen He was lazy and deliberately embarrassed Huang Lei, and He Jiong suddenly asked him: “What time was the filming last night?”

Chen He: “5 o’clock in the morning.”

Everyone understands Chen He. It turned out that it was too exhausting to film last night.

Everyone agrees that He Jiong’s high emotional intelligence is inseparable from his superb on-the-spot adaptability and ability to ease the atmosphere.

You see, this is the power of high emotional intelligence to speak. One or two sentences can save the original embarrassment.

Give another example in life.

During the internship, the big boss came to inspect and invited colleagues from the technical department to have a meal. During this time, the big boss came to our table with a glass. Everyone raised their glass, but a colleague suddenly said, “I’m sorry, I don’t drink. “

Everyone was silent at the moment, and even the big boss didn’t expect this to happen.

At this moment, the manager stood up with a signature smile, and said to the big boss without hesitation:

“Mr. Li, this is the temporary driver of our branch. I will be responsible for sending colleagues home later. Everyone can drink, but he can’t.”

The colleagues at the same table all tacitly agreed, and the big boss laughed after listening:

“Oh, I said what’s going on, then don’t force you…”

You see, people who can talk can always perform outstandingly at critical moments, and one or two sentences can help others resolve crises.

Language is a technology. To speak nicely, one cannot do without careful observation and understanding of life and others.

Being able to calm down in public places is the third sign of a person’s high emotional intelligence.

4. People with high emotional intelligence speak with a sense of boundary

Every time I go back to my hometown, the neighbor’s aunt will come to visit me enthusiastically.

It was just a simple greeting at the beginning, and then it turned into a fierce attack, completely unable to resist.

“XX, how much is your salary now? I heard that your city consumes a lot of money, and it is only suitable for you to develop there with monthly consumption of 10,000 dollars. You should have it too?

“Why didn’t you bring a girlfriend? Any XX son who is as old as you will run away. Don’t be too demanding on girls.”

I:”……”

In life, we will meet people like this, chat with you enthusiastically, but the topic goes off the track.

From the beginning: “Have you eaten?” “Have you been on vacation?” It becomes “How much is a month’s salary?” “Are there any objects?…

This is a typical person who speaks without a sense of boundaries.

When chatting with someone, be clear about the relationship between you and him, to what extent.

If you are not good enough to sleep in a bed, don’t ask for sensitive personal privacy issues such as income, marriage, assets, etc.

Personal interests, hot events, and recent experiences are all better choices.

Keeping a safe distance is the most suitable, will not disturb the infringement of the opponent, and it is easier to win the favor of the opponent.

As Schopenhauer said: “People are like hedgehogs in the cold winter. If they are too close, they will sting each other, and if they are too far away, they will feel cold.”

There is a sense of boundary in speaking, which is the fourth sign of a person’s high emotional intelligence.

emotional intelligence EQ

5. Don’t make judgments about things you don’t understand

A well-known host interviewed several rural children.

These children have excellent grades, but their families are poor, and they talked about food during the period.

Moderator: “What do you usually eat?”

Children: “Green vegetables.”

Moderator: “Will there be meat?”

Children: “Don’t eat often.”

Moderator: “Why don’t you eat meat? Is meat not tasty? Is it easy to spoil? Or are there other reasons?”

Children: “…because there is no money.”

The host did not understand clearly and asked rashly, which caused the scene to be embarrassing.

The girl’s ex-boyfriend came to get back together. After being rejected, the girl’s girlfriend was invited as a lobbyist. The girlfriend said to the girl:

“XX person is not bad, how can you bear to refuse him?”

In reality, there are still many situations like this. If the truth is not clear, the generalization is partial.

Labeling someone else’s conclusion is equivalent to hurting others without knowing it.

Moreover, sometimes you never think of a person who wears slippers to go out maybe a multi-millionaire; you also never think of a glamorous person who is a poor man with a huge debt.

In the movie “The Great Gatsby”, there is a sentence that can serve as the best reminder:

“Whenever you feel you want to criticize someone, you have to remember that not everyone has the advantage you have.”

Because a person with a truly high emotional intelligence understands how difficult it is to be considerate of others, and will not judge a person at will.

Even if it is good for a friend, it will not be straightforward but will use a tactful way to express it without offending the other party.

Don’t make judgments about things you don’t understand. This is the fifth sign of a person’s high emotional intelligence.

6. People with high emotional intelligence can use emotion to control scenes

A friend is a well-known good husband. He has known him for 8 years and has never seen him lose his temper in public.

Once a couple of friends were eating together, he directly got up with one of them. The volume of his speech was ten times higher than usual, and the scale was much larger than before. It really shocked us. He was taking gunpowder. ?

But only this time, the friend returned to the old good husband.

Later, I couldn’t help asking him. My friend said that the man scolded at the dinner table was an old man. He owed himself a lot of money and repeatedly failed to pay his debts, so he could only make this plan.

What makes me admire even more is that when I am an ordinary person, I am really angry when facing the person who owes the money. However, his anger is for that person, and his heart is still calm. Of course, he finally got the money.

He added: “When people are angry, their IQ is zero, and anger can’t solve any problems.”

It is probably this friend who can control emotions in turn, instead of becoming a slave to emotions, and achieve the goal by correctly exerting emotions.

Many people misunderstand the meaning of high EQ and think that doing things smoothly and not losing your temper is high EQ, but this is not the case.

A true high emotional intelligence, know how to use emotions freely, and get the greatest return with the least cost.

Being able to use emotions to control the scene is the seventh sign of a person’s high emotional intelligence.

In these life scenes, people with high EQ have done one thing well always pretend to be someone else in their hearts.

By insisting on this, we can slowly understand the true wisdom of getting along with people.

Don’t stop the cultivation of interpersonal relationships. The four words “speak well” hide the good luck of your life.

Finally, share a sentence I like very much:

“We speak well, not to get anything, but to not lose the people and things we care about.”

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